“You can hate me. You can go out there and say anything you want about me, but you will love me later because I told you the truth.” – Mary J. Blige

What is the truth? Lately, the concept of truth has taken a beating. Just look at the political maelstrom we’re currently experiencing. Between “alternative facts” and “fake news” it feels like we can’t believe anything we hear. But thank goodness for “transcripts”. 

Our current president is gaslighting America. There are transcripts verifying his quid pro quo conversation with Ukraine’s president. There is written confirmation that he, in fact, violated campaign finance law. His conversation comes off as a mafia shakedown complete with bribery and extortion. It’s also obvious that he’s engaging in obstruction of justice whenever his activities are investigated. Yet he still insists that he’s a victim and everyone is out to get him. 

This is eerily similar to my abuser’s behavior after he did the unthinkable to his own family. As I watch 45 have public meltdowns on Twitter and on TV, with namecalling, bullying and full out lies, I feel triggered. I’ve been the target of lies and smear campaigns. I’ve also learned that a seasoned sociopath can manipulate his flying monkeys to believe his lies and do his bidding. 

But back to those “transcripts”. I’ve compared some of my documented conversations with the felon who tried to murder me to quoted documentation from or about 45. And I’ve confirmed that a sociopath is a sociopath. Period.

Coercion, Witness Tampering, Obstruction of Justice:

“I just spoke to a psych doctor here and he says unless you say I threatened you, they can’t charge domestic violence. So I’m guessing they are going to ask you just that. Did I threaten you or did you feel threatened. You just need to say no.(45: “I would like you to do us a favor though because our country has been through a lot. Whatever you can do, it’s very important that you do it if that’s possible.”)

“So, apparently I’m being told by my lawyer that the fact that the dog died makes this a bigger deal than if he wasn’t part of the equation. I know we loved the dog but please try not to break down in tears when they bring up the dog. Regular concern but not heartbroken.” (45: “The President and his personal counsel…did not want Manafort to ‘flip’ and cooperate with the government.” Mueller Report).

“I hope you’re happy because you have no idea just how bad it’s going to get because you made me into a monster. After today you won’t have any choices. There is no tomorrow for us unless you call me today. There will only be pain and loneliness forever.” (45: “If the Democrats are successful in removing the President from office (which they will never be), it will cause a Civil War like fracture in this Nation from which our Country will never heal”).    


“There is no 100 people combined on twitter that could even come close to honestly caring for you like I do. No one can or ever will love and adore you as much as I do.” (45: “Nobody has ever done so much in the first two years of a presidency as this administration. Nobody. Nobody.”).

“Your family is ready whenever you want to reach out and fess up and ask for real help. Just stop lying to yourself and fess up to what everyone else already knows. They fucking know it and are just waiting for you to ask for help and fess up. It really would feel really good if you were just brave enough to stop lying to YOURSELF.” (45: We are simultaneously fighting the Fake News Media and their partner, the Democrat Party. Always tough to beat the “Press,” but people are beginning to see how totally CORRUPT they are, and it makes our job a whole lot easier!”). 

Victim-Blaming/Playing the Victim:

“Blame me and don’t accept that we did this together. You AND I did that. Now it’s all on me and only you are a victim. We have BOTH of ourselves to blame. We did this to ourselves. (45: “On BOTH sides”).

Why were you so physically scared to be with me? All I was offering was my love. The saddest and most pathetic part is that I would still take you back in a heartbeat” (45: “It’s a shame that your president has had to go through this.”).

This is only a small list of my truths. I have thousands more, including “truths” from my abuser’s flying monkeys that are coincidentally similar to members of the GOP who are complicit to the behavior of the sociopath in chief. It’s all documented for posterity. I am proud of myself for painstakingly sifting through hours of written documentation to support my truth. I am not ashamed of my truth. It is not “alternative facts”.

I know in my heart that I am on the right side of history.

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