The Closet

The Closet

I’m the type of person that throws things out or, when possible, donates things I no longer have a use for. I’m the very antithesis of a hoarder. In fact, I hate clutter so much that I probably throw things away with too much vigor. I was raised by parents who were both excessively neat …

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Bluebell

Bluebell

When I was a teenager, my cousin sent me Bluebell perfume from Penhaligon’s of London. It had a flowery lily-of-the-valley smell that I loved. And my abuser also loved it. He would tell me how much he loved the scent on my neck every time I wore it and he’d be disappointed when I didn’t …

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I Am Loved

I Am Loved

We just returned from a week in LA. We had three glorious days in Disneyland with a 1-year-old and an 8-year-old and then spent the rest of Thanksgiving week with family. All I can say is, as exhausted as I am, IT WAS LIFE-CHANGING. For a very long time, I have felt unworthy of anyone’s …

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A Love Letter

A Love Letter

To Abby and Bree, I am writing to tell you I love you. You don’t know this, but I exist in two places, here and wherever you are, because love has no boundaries. I hope someday I can tell you in person, but at least for now we are being denied each other’s company. You …

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The Wedding

The Wedding

I was in crisis. It was the night before the big day and my family was just a half-hour away, checking into their hotel and beginning their weekend celebration. No one called me. No one texted. I sat in the dark wondering whether anyone worried about my well-being or safety. Would someone decide to come …

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Big Brother

Big Brother

I had three brothers. One was much older than me and when I was growing up he was rarely around. I thought he was cool. He was a drummer, then an actor. He moved to NYC and I watched him on TV commercials, soap operas and even in a few movies. Our lives were polar …

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Digital Abuse

Digital Abuse

Being in a relationship does not mean your partner should have complete control over your every move. It’s not okay for anyone to force you to lose your individuality or autonomy to prove your faithfulness and commitment to the relationship. It sounds logical and obvious to most, but to some of us, standing up for …

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Dad

Dad

Dear Dad, Did you know that I was a miserable child? I remember you knocking on my bedroom door, trying to coax me to come out and play. You told me I was “the loneliest guy”, but I was a 10-year-old girl and mom frightened me. Did you know she hated me? When I was …

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A Letter to Angus

A Letter to Angus

Dear Angus, I don’t think there has been one day since the fire that I haven’t thought about you. I can still picture you snoring on your little bed on the floor right beside me, your paws twitching as if you were running in your dreams. You hadn’t run in a very long time. You …

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Coercive Control

Coercive Control

What is your first thought when you hear the words domestic violence? Most people imagine an abuser beating, kicking, choking, using a weapon on their victim, etc. But beyond physical violence, there are other methods of abuse used on victims such as financial, sexual and emotional abuse. Coercive control, a concept developed by Dr. Evan …

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