A Love Letter

A Love Letter

To Abby and Bree, I am writing to tell you I love you. You don’t know this, but I exist in two places, here and wherever you are, because love has no boundaries. I hope someday I can tell you in person, but at least for now we are being denied each other’s company. You …

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The Wedding

The Wedding

I was in crisis. It was the night before the big day and my family was just a half-hour away, checking into their hotel and beginning their weekend celebration. No one called me. No one texted. I sat in the dark wondering whether anyone worried about my well-being or safety. Would someone decide to come …

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Big Brother

Big Brother

I had three brothers. One was much older than me and when I was growing up he was rarely around. I thought he was cool. He was a drummer, then an actor. He moved to NYC and I watched him on TV commercials, soap operas and even in a few movies. Our lives were polar …

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Digital Abuse

Digital Abuse

Being in a relationship does not mean your partner should have complete control over your every move. It’s not okay for anyone to force you to lose your individuality or autonomy to prove your faithfulness and commitment to the relationship. It sounds logical and obvious to most, but to some of us, standing up for …

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Dad

Dad

Dear Dad, Did you know that I was a miserable child? I remember you knocking on my bedroom door, trying to coax me to come out and play. You told me I was “the loneliest guy”, but I was a 10-year-old girl and mom frightened me. Did you know she hated me? When I was …

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A Letter to Angus

A Letter to Angus

Dear Angus, I don’t think there has been one day since the fire that I haven’t thought about you. I can still picture you snoring on your little bed on the floor right beside me, your paws twitching as if you were running in your dreams. You hadn’t run in a very long time. You …

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Coercive Control

Coercive Control

What is your first thought when you hear the words domestic violence? Most people imagine an abuser beating, kicking, choking, using a weapon on their victim, etc. But beyond physical violence, there are other methods of abuse used on victims such as financial, sexual and emotional abuse. Coercive control, a concept developed by Dr. Evan …

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Secrets

Secrets

Dear Elaine, Do you remember the time we were at a breakfast buffet in Virginia Beach? You were chatting with us about the breakfast offerings and detailing what you could and couldn’t eat because of your medical condition. That’s when Jim cut you off with a humiliating tirade about your “goddamn bitching” and then told …

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I Didn’t Call You

I Didn’t Call You

Dear Mom, It was Monday, but I didn’t call you. I knew if I did call, we would have that same old conversation. You would tell me about your wonderful children, the ones who cater to you every day while you sit with your kitty on your lap. Then you’d tell me that’s what happens …

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Traumatic Memory Loss

Traumatic Memory Loss

A couple of days ago, I had the opportunity to share my domestic violence story. As I talked about the history of my abusive relationship, the escalation of the violence and the devastating fire, I had no problem describing specific details that I remembered so well. But, as always, once I talked about the horror …

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