Dirty Wife

Dirty Wife

I’m your dirty little girl A slut, a whore, a cunt Your personal cum receptacle You dress me in lacy, crotchless panties I watch you grow hard as you stare at my breasts bursting through a fishnet bodysuit You have me watch porn while you bury your face between my legs I tell you how …

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Witness Intimidation

Witness Intimidation

It was the end of May. I was treating myself to a getaway on Cape Cod after a five-month period that I can only describe as catastrophic. They were all gone, my home, my dog and my family. I was feeling isolated and afraid and I was desperate to sit on a beach with my …

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The Email

The Email

Leave Me Alone, it read. There was no written body to the email, just a subject line. I hadn’t tried to communicate with her in two years. I stared blankly at the message as I waited for my bus. I was on my way home from my job in a domestic violence center. Since his …

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The Shower

The Shower

It had only been a couple of months since my abuser had almost murdered me. My family was a month away from a wedding and I was expected to help throw a bridal shower. I had no money, no belongings, barely any clothes to wear. I was living paycheck to paycheck and using GoFundMe donations …

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The Hearing

The Hearing

My phone rang at 2:30 PM. It was the victim advocate from Essex County Superior Court. She told me that my ex-husband was appearing the next day for a hearing regarding a potential plea bargain. She said it wasn’t necessary that I be there, but if I wanted to present a victim impact statement, that …

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Amnesiac Shadows

Amnesiac Shadows

It was a day in mid-September when my love came to rescue me. I’d packed up what few belongings I had and I waited anxiously for my brother to show up so I could toss them in the trunk of his car and ride into the city. My mind blenderized varying emotions as I contemplated …

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Triggers

Triggers

When I am triggered, I am physically ill. I can’t breathe, sounds are twice as loud, I shake and I try not to vomit. But sometimes I get the feeling that people actually construe my intense reaction to a trigger as my being “offended” or “insulted” or maybe “seeking negative attention.” Interestingly, the medical definition …

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Erased and Replaced

Erased and Replaced

Be careful about freely giving away your trust. No one is immune to being erased and replaced. It’s not just strangers you should be cautious of. It could be anyone, even those you’ve known for your whole life. Be proactive and assess whether your lover, family, friends, any of the people closest to you do …

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PTSD

PTSD

I’ve written a lot of poems and songs about PTSD. I’ve painted and drawn images trying to capture the intensity of my symptoms. Nothing really can illustrate what it feels like to suffer from PTSD. Some of the symptoms are flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, rage, despair, and hopelessness and they are intense. My symptoms come in …

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Family Values

Family Values

She met him when she was 16. She didn’t know the red flags of abuse. It started immediately. A push, a thrown glass, a blocked exit, a broken-down door. He called her a bitch, a whore, a cunt. She was frightened but didn’t realize it. She minimized the attacks, protecting herself against an otherwise intolerable …

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