Peace

Peace

This blog has been a wonderful way of regurgitating all the pain I’ve swallowed. I caused pain too. I said a lot of hurtful things to people I loved and I’m sorry about that. I became a public hot mess on social media partly because I wanted to offend my family and partly because I …

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Why Didn’t I Leave?

Why Didn’t I Leave?

Five months after I married my abuser, I was pregnant with my first child. Less than two years later, I was the mother of two. I was thrilled to be a mom. My kids were my world. They deserved to be loved and nurtured and I deserved their giggles and hugs. I was positive I’d …

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Sister or Victim Blamer?

Sister or Victim Blamer?

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked just after I received the news that I’d been banished from the wedding. I replied “No”. I just wanted to be left alone. My husband had tried to kill me and when that failed he concocted a bullshit smear campaign and successfully ruined my family relationships. …

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The Parole Hearing

The Parole Hearing

After serving only 15 months, my abuser was eligible for parole. I received a letter notifying me of the hearing and inviting me to attend with a statement. I believe without a doubt that he meant to kill me and that he’d finish the job if he had the opportunity, so I flew from Seattle …

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The Good Wife

The Good Wife

He told me he would love me forever. What he really meant was I belonged to him forever. I was his property. This wasn’t love, he was my owner. He was proud to have me because I was desirable to him. In his mind, that meant every other human with a penis wanted to fuck …

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Truth

Truth

“You can hate me. You can go out there and say anything you want about me, but you will love me later because I told you the truth.” – Mary J. Blige What is the truth? Lately, the concept of truth has taken a beating. Just look at the political maelstrom we’re currently experiencing. Between “alternative …

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Letting Go

Letting Go

I’ve struggled with letting you go. I’ve struggled with overwhelming feelings of guilt, grief and anger. I’ve been working at it for four years. I’ve cried my eyes out, gone to therapy and written goodbye letters. I wrote poems, painted pictures and sang songs about you. It helped to a certain degree, but I usually …

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High Risk Team

High Risk Team

The night my abuser set my house on fire, I was placed on the High Risk Team by the Jeanne Geiger Crisis Center. This is a program that Jeanne Geiger launched back in 2005, the first of its kind in the United States and they continue to roll it out across the US. DVHRT is …

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Domestic Violence Awareness

Domestic Violence Awareness

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month in the USA. Incredibly enough though, it’s not listed on the Wiki page of October observances which are: Breast Cancer Awareness Month Filipino American History Month Italian-American Heritage and Culture Month  LGBT History Month Miscarriage Awareness Month National Arts & Humanities Month National Bullying Prevention Month National Cyber Security …

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